Where do we go from here...

Plans for your life



Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD…

These past two years have been extremely trying for me and my walk.  I am not sure how much I alluded to in the past entries about my wife, but over the past two year, almost to the date of the first year anniversary, she has had some major health complications that the doctors cannot explain the cause of to this day.  Needless to say, they were able to treat her after she was hospitalized both times, but for me, it was extremely unnerving.  Basically, to put it simply, she was very close to having her body (at the age of 31) go into renal failure.  Her CPK levels were off the chart and the first year she could barely walk up the stairs holding our youngest (at 2 years old, now 3).  For six days she was hospitalized (the first year) and for 4 days she was hospitalized this year. 

I have a new found respect for single parents.  Frankly, I don’t know how you do it 24/7.  Last year, my in-laws were in Florida and my parents are just too old to handle my 3 kids and life was extremely stressful and turned me upside down and inside out.  I was on my own, while my wife was in the hospital, being mom, dad, nurse, caretaker, cook, maid, and all around defense for my family.  After the kids were in bed I fell into bed and wrestled in prayer, in tears, and in reading God’s word for answers.  Seriously, I couldn’t believe that this is what he had planned for my life, to take my wife away from us and to leave me as a single parent raising 3 younglings.  By the way, I also want to say that Spiritual attack was also evident in my life through this time as well, both at the workplace and elsewhere.

The hardest prayer I think that I have ever prayed (over tears) was for my wife and for her healing, but as I continued searching the Scriptures for answers I found myself having to pray, “not my will be done, but your will Father.”  It was at that point that I gave everything to Him.  I gave him my tears, my stress, my hope and my frustration – not knowing where this road would lead.  I wrestled in my bed, crying myself to sleep for the love of my life, and asking to have her just one more night in my home. 

I had taken 3 days off of work to be the parent, and my work was more than patient, given the circumstance.  I was reading many Scriptures including the one listed above and all of a sudden a great peace came about me.  I cannot explain it, except that there was a real calming force about me.  At that point the phone rang and it was a friend who leads our church’s prayer team.  She told me that a group of six women were praying for me that morning and she wanted me to know that.  I asked her the time that this occurred and she said it was right about the time that I felt that unbelievable peace, given my circumstance.  The strange thing about that was that my mother-in-law (over 1700 miles away) felt that same type of peace come over her. 

This past January, I moved my parents into assisted living (in another state by my sister) right about the time that my wife went back to the emergency room only to hospitalized again in January 2010 for the same thing that the doctor said the year before would never come back.  Strangely enough, she went into the hospital the day before I flew back, so I was able to land in Chicago and visit her there and spend the day with her at the hospital.  These past two years have taught me something in my Christian walk that I don’t think anything else could have done in such an extreme way – to trust in the Lord.  To trust Him no matter what and no matter what happens in your life.  What would it profit me to gain the whole world and lose my own soul?  What would it profit me to have everything in this world but to lose my faith in God?  The answer is quite simple – nothing.  There is nothing on this earth that is worth losing that. Nothing!

God has plans for me, not to harm me, but to prosper me.  God has plans for you too.  What does he want in return?  The answer is simple yet not easy.  It requires obedience, repentance, trust and a heart of worship.  He does not want hypocrisy; he does not want a lukewarm person.  When you want to come closer to Him, He will come closer to you – I promise!

As hard as life is and could get, God will meet you where you are at.  A word of caution, He is a Holy God and he doesn’t want just a part of your life as a Christian – He wants all of it.  And for the Legacy Dad’s out there – remember that your children out there are watching you, and remember something even more important than that – God is watching you all the time. JOB 7.