Up Hill Both Ways

You've probably noticed silence on my end for some time now and this is not without reason.  I feel as a Christian brother it is my obligation to share with you the good times and the struggles of parenting, as this is the learning process here on Legacy Dad. A month ago, my family moved from the West Coast to the East Coast.  This is was due to a job promotion for me and graduate school for my wife.  We'd prayed about this decision for over a year and all indications were that this was the correct choice.

Our children have endured moves in the past and embraced and accepted the change with little to no opinion or objection.

This move changed all that.

Our children are now middle school age and had strong emotional ties to their friends, youth group and school back on the West Coast.  This past month has been filled with anger, resentment and little to no logical thinking on our children's part.

My children now have a deep sense of resentment and anger at my wife and I for moving the family and for deciding to do what's best for us but not necessarily for them.  They feel victim's in this process and have been highly resistant to this change.

I spent months researching communities for us to live, looking for great schools, neighborhoods and churches.  We finally settled on a small community that's schools are in the top 5% of the country, has great youth programs and the community has little crime.

Lesson 1:  Good schools do not equal good communities.

The school is top notch:  great educators, top honors.  The kids however are success driven, sheltered and not accepting of outsiders (our kids).  The parents we've met so far; success driven, snobbish and fear based parents.

Lesson 2:  Emotional Tweens lack logic.

I've explained to my kids over and over that this move was what was best for the family and how we prayed about it.  To this we've been met with resentment, anger and our children questioning whether God loves them or not.  Their emotions are high and logic is almost non-existent.

Lesson 3:  Technology can hinder progress. 

Skype, email, Facebook and cell phones have allowed our children to keep one foot on the West Coast and one shaky foot in our current new home.  Our children use technology to stay connected with their West Coast friends and it enables them to not have to put forth a total effort towards making friends and a new home on the East Coast.

My wife and I continue to pray and support one another hoping that time will heal all. We've talked about counseling to help the transition.  We hope everyday that our children will continue to adjust and make new friends.  So far, it has been an emotionally draining uphill battle fought one day at a time.

If anyone has any ideas or experiences, I am all ears.  Please keep us in your prayers.

-- Lance