Top 10 things to strengthen your marriage

Have you often ever wondered what goes on in a woman's mind?  I do!  And to this day I am not really sure how many things that they can think of at one time. My pastor once said that he heard a study that the average man speaks about 12,500 words a day, of which, he speaks 10,000 through the course of his work day, so when he gets home he only has 2,500 words left to speak.  The woman, on the other hand, speaks 25,000 words a day, of which through the course of her day (men, pay attention now) she still has 12,500 words left to say when we come home from work.  Prepare yourselves for my top 10 list of things to strengthen your marriage: 10. Spend time with each other - if we could learn as much and study are wives like we do our passions and sport hobbies and statistics of various sorts, imagine what we could glean from our marriages.

9. Learn how to handle conflict with each other - in the Bible we read not to let the sun go down while we are angry with someone, this is especially true of our wives.  Sometimes we may find ourselves exhausted and having no other choice but to sleep, but don't let time get in between your forgiveness of each other.  When you disagree and when you have been wronged read 1 Corinthians 13. If you have baggage that cannot be resolved through one on one interaction with your spouse, then seek christian counseling based on biblical principles.

8.  Your marriage has to come first -- before kids or your job, and requires daily focus: touch-points, talk-points, date night, and honeymoon night.  Find times to date each other often - whether you have young kids or older kids. Money or no money or simply lack of time, then make time.  Kids will grow, money will be spent and life will move on past you if you forget who your spouse is.  We grow and mature and in some instances even change likes and dislikes, but if we invest time in one another then we can grow together.

7.  Need each other - each spouse has to have different roles in marriage and in parenting and in care taking of each other, kids and responsibilities.  If in the case that both spouses work, then clearly define what best approach compliments both.  When you share and assign roles and responsibilities then you foster even more trust (that the other will do their role) and that you can trust and depend on each other daily.

6. Be your best - whether we have a tough job and emotional problems our spouses don't deserve us to download all this negative stuff on them.  We can be honest and share our hurts and stress, but they are not the neighborhood dump.  Be considerate.  Be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to anger!

5.  Take care of yourself - physically (eat healthy and work out regularly), spiritually and emotionally.

4.  Be your spouse’s biggest fan - While you’re studying your spouse looking for needs, also be on the lookout for strengths. What is your spouse good at? What do they enjoy doing? What are they passionate about? What gets them excited?

3.  Be third in your marriage - put God first, your spouse second and you third.  Read Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3:7 (if you are the husband).

2.  Be intimate regularly - this isn't just about sex and what the other should do for you.  This is a reminder that your body is not your own.  This is a vow and covenant to God.  The marriage should be playful and fun and relaxed and trusting.

1.  Pray together - a couple that pray's together stays together.  When you put Christ in the center of your marriage and your treat the woman as Jesus treats the church, then you should be prepared to die for her.  Women, likewise, your should protect and care for your husband and nurture him as Jesus takes care of us.

What are some of your top tens?

Dante