If you are a man and you are married, and if by chance you have the pleasure of having kids with your wife, then this blog is for you. If you are divorced, re-married and with step-kids, then this post is for you. If you are single and/or recently divorced and have kids, then this post is for you. If you are single and not married and just struggling, then have patience - we will come back to you in another post. For those that are still reading, then this one is for you.
The Bible is the true Word of God. The Bible is true and accurate from cover to cover. The Bible is the inherent Word of God. Now that I have your attention please turn your Bibles to Ephesians 5:22-29 (NewInternational Version)
Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—"
Now guys, before you go on and say to your wives, "see what Paul says, you have to submit to me" - BE CAREFUL. Read on my friends. It says Husbands love your wives just as Christ loves the Church AND he gave himself up for her. Don't just brush over that, but seriously, think on that. Did it say he gave himself partially? Did it say after golf, or after time with my buddies and after me, me and me? NO. He gave Himself on the Cross for you and I and that is what we, THE SPIRITUAL LEADERS of our house and of our family are called to do. We are called to love our wives and to give ourself up for them. This doesn't say that you have to be a wimp nor does it say that you have to wear a skirt in the household. The woman has her place and the man has his place and in some cases that may require that both parents are working. Whatever lot you are cast and whatever vocation you have to follow, one thing is for sure (your wife may not admit to it, nor can she fathom what Spiritual Leadership truly looks like if you haven't followed the aforementioned scripture). However, if you were to find yourself taking these steps and honoring her and loving her as Christ loves us, and giving yourself up for her the way that Christ did for His Church - WATCH AND SEE MY FRIENDS - WATCH AND SEE what happens.
Some of you may be in a situation that seems hopeless. Some may have even wandered away and cheated on your wives in adultery or even worse through pornography - Oh, you say that either one is worse then the other - SIN IS SIN. Remember what Jesus said in Mathew, paraphrasing that if we even look lustfully at another women (at work, on the computer, in a magazine or a social network- Facebook...then we have already committed adultery. Hmmm? It is pretty hard to argue with Jesus let alone His Scripture.
So is there hope for those of you that are in this situation? In Job 34:31-33 we read, "Suppose a man says to God, 'I am guilty' but will offend no more. Teach me what I cannot see; if I have done wrong, I will not do so again. Should God then reward you on your terms when you refuse to repent? You must decide..." In 1 Peter 3:7 we read, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
Do you desire to have a Christ-centered life? A Christ-centered marriage? Then it is very clear what Scripture has to say; do not barter with God. He is a Holy God and we need to repent our hidden sin to him - no matter what the sin (or in some cases the idol) may be. Jesus paid the ultimate price once and for all, that is, to say, that nothing else we can do on our own can save us. Jesus paid our price in full and we are written in the Book of Life forever. Scripture does ask us to move toward living sacrifices (Romans 12) and to move toward Holy Living (Colossians 3).
If you love your kids? Let me say that again, IF YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS, THEN love your wives. Respect your wives and treat them as heirs to God and Heaven as they are daughters of God through Jesus's blood. We are engrafted into his family with a price - His Blood. No matter where you are at in your life: Single, Divorced, Divorced with Kids, Divorced and re-married, Married (barely), Married mediocre, Married poorly, Married with kids and/or Married happily with Kids - The choice is very clear - it begins with you getting on your knees and repenting of the sin that we have in our lives and moving closer to God through his word and through prayer. Then we can move in our marriage, our singleness and in our brokenness and allow God to heal us and to sanctify us when we no longer grieve the Holy Spirit that is in us.
Do you understand?