The Grace of Anger From Dr. Gary Chapman
Ephesians 4:17–32 ~ The Grace of Anger
I. “You have not conceived of anger as being a gift of God to us but I believe it is. I think anger is the most misunderstood emotion and it is certainly the most mis-managed human emotion.”
1) What is the Source of Anger? ~ Anger is rooted in the Nature of God 1 John 4:8 ~ God is love, 1 Peter 1:16 ~ God is holy therefore the Scripture teaches that God is angry every day with the wicked (Psalm 7:11). The Scriptures never says God is anger but they do say that because God is love and God is holy He experiences anger every day.
Why Do We Experience Anger?
Because we are made in the image of God and we have a concern for righteousness and justice.
2) What is the Purpose of Anger?
God is our Model. How Does He Handle Anger?
a. God punishes the wrong-doer ~ (Rom. 12:19) Do not take revenge but leave room for
God’s wrath. 1 Peter 3:9 – He doesn’t take pleasure in that.
“He says if you continue in this road I am bringing judgment I am calling you to repentance and when you repent God’s answer has served a positive purpose.”
On the Human Level There Are Different Types of Anger:
a. Definitive Anger ~ someone wronged you or someone else
Galatians 2:11-14 – “You and I encounter wrongs, people wrong us and we sometimes wrong other people. It is godly anger it is based on God’s nature and our nature.”
b. Distorted anger ~ when no wrong has been committed (Cain is an example in Gen. 4:4-7).
Naaman the leper, 2 Kings 5:9-12 – “Was his anger legitimate, the prophet told him how to be healed but he didn’t do it the way Naaman thought he should’ve done it. A lot of our anger is because people don’t do things the way we think they should do it and it’s not legitimate.”
“It is not a sin to forget.”
3) How Do We Process Anger?
a. Admit Your Anger (Ephesians 4:26) ~ being angry, sin not.
“It’s not a sin to feel anger. But people often sin when they are angry… They’ve picked up the idea that good Christians don’t feel angry.”
b. Restrain your initial response (Proverbs 19:11)
c. Locate the focus of your anger ("Why am I angry"
1. What wrong was commited?
2. If it is "distorted anger" then confess your anger as selfishness (James 1:19-25)
II. If you find yourself with distorted anger?
A. Have forbearance (Ephesians 4:2) Accept their humility.
1. there are two types of persons
a. Pointer (to the point - no explicit details)
b. Painter (gives you every detail on the situation - from buildings, settings, scenery, etc.,)