The Five Stages: Changing Attitudes

Saturday morning we were blessed to have one of church worship leaders lead our men's group at 6:30am.  We were blessed also by the fact that he is the leader of our Reflectors Ministry also leading and beginning our mental health ministry.  This man is a very special man, not just because he is a song writer, not just because he has a heart for the broken and the marginalized, not just because he loves the Lord with all of his heart, But because he is a humble man with truly many gifts! FullSizeRenderHis name is Vinnie, and he  was asked by one of our leaders to come and lead worship and to bring a message of his heart:  REFLECTORS MINISTRY.

5 STAGES.CHANGING ATTITUDESEnter his message on the 5 Stages of Changing our Attitudes:

Stage 1:  Ignorance - Weaknesses and disabilities are a sign that God either does not care or is not able to fix the situation. In fact, they may be a result of sin or a lack of faith. God is not involved in the life of someone with a disability, because He can’t use people who are so broken. I do not know people with disabilities, nor do I know anything about disabilities. I have no interest in getting to know them or to know more about their life

Stage 2:  Pity - I feel sorry for people with disabilities. It’s too bad, really. I am blessed by God and I can help others. I am grateful that my children are not disabled. People with weaknesses and disabilities obviously need someone like me to help them and give them meaning, due to their troubles. I really don’t see any meaning or purpose to their lives.

Stage 3:  Care - Like me, people with disabilities were created in God’s image. By that virtue alone they have value. I hope that someone will take the time to show them God’s love, and I will happily support such an effort. In fact, I think we need to find ways to help those people. Maybe we should start a special church education class, or respite care for the sake of the parents.

Stage 4:  Friendship:  I have come to know and spend time with a friend who has a disability. This person has value in God’s sight, but also in mine, and I know that my life is better for having known this person, and as much as I have helped her, she has also blessed me. In fact, I now like to initiate relationships with people who have disabilities. God brings many different people into my church and community, including people with disabilities, and we all benefit as we grow in friendship with each other.

Stage 5:  Co-Laborers - If God has called each of us to serve and praise Him with every fiber of our beings, then He has done the same for our brothers and sisters in Christ with disabilities. I think ministry should not just be to people with disabilities, but with or alongside people who have disabilities. Together, we will encourage and equip each other, with and without disabilities, into every good work to respond to God’s call on our lives. We can all give and we can all receive.

There were two passages that were very relevant to his heart in sharing these 5 stages:

The Sheep and the Goats (Matthew 25)

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

The Parable of the Great Banquet (Luke 14)

15 When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”

16 Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17 At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’

18 “But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’

19 “Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’

20 “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’

21 “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’

22 “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’

23 “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. 24 I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.’”

When you read these stories, if you profess the name of the Lord Jesus as Savior, you should feel the Spirit move in you with a heart of compassion and the desire for the need is great and the workers are few to harvest the field.   The reason why these steps were so relevant to our men's ministry is because Vinnie asked us to take a hard look at where we are, not just with special needs, but with our outlook on people in general and in where we are at in our life and what stage in each of those situations we are at - this was a huge question and great topic for our small groups when we pray for each other and share from the heart.

There were other verses that Vinnie raised for our pathway to care and discipleship:

1 Corinthians 12:12New International Version (NIV)

Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

Love in Action (Romans 12)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord.20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


When it is all said and done, we should be left with three things to do for Jesus:

  1. Go- Jesus tells us to go and make disciples.  Go and grab people (who are broken and in need of the Good News:  Jesus Saves) and go unto the highways and by ways and fill his house for the great banquet
  2. Compel - build relationships with these who are lost and in need of healing and love and community.  Compel them with the love of Jesus and what He has done for us.  Build relationships through friendships and co-laboring with others to serve and seek those who are lost and broken.
  3. Full House - Fill his house, by doing His work.  We are called to share the love of Jesus by loving others.  By truth in love.  Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life and that no man cometh to the Father but by Him.

What say you?

Go, Compel and Fill our Lords house!