Another one of the traits that we try to instill in our children is poise. Poise not only in social situations and at meal times but also in everyday life. Again, parents are the modelers of this trait.
The other day I asked my daughter 5 times to brush her teeth and 4 times to get ready for bed, yet she still was messing around, playing and not listening to me. In our home this is a spanking offense for disobedience to parents.
I told my daughter to go to her room and wait for a spanking. I was angry which is never a good time to spank a child so instead I went in her room and talked with her.
I strived for grace and poise.
I told my daughter that she was normally very obedient and this was unusual of her. I explained that her actions was showing disrespect to me and asked her if something was wrong that was causing her to act this way.
Next came the tears, she began to explain to me that she has been having some problems in school with Math. "All the other kids can do it so easily and it's so hard for me." I listened intently as my little sweetheart told me of her struggles in second grade math.
Next, I explained that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and listed some of the areas she was superior in. I also told her that her Legacy Dad, Super Hero Extroadinare failed college algebra the first time because I was so terrible in Math.
This produced a laugh and a smile.
The point to this story:
This was a special moment when my daughter shared with me her intimate world and her personal struggles. If I would have went through with my original plan, I would have missed it and my daughter would have probably stuffed these struggles down for another day.
There is always two sides to every coin and many ways to handle situations in our lives.
Being a Type A person, it's often hard for me to execute poise but I hope that this example and the many more I strive to illustrate for my kids will overflow into their lives and instill in them as a character trait to emulate.