I was sitting in an office the other day and noticed a copy of GQ lying on a table. As I picked it up, I noticed a primped and polished picture of Shia LeBeouf on the cover. I asked the woman in the office if she thought these feminine looking, "Twilight" guys were attractive. She said yes, if the guy is young and single. However, anyone over 27 trying to pull that off looks like a fool. I scratched my scruffy beard and wondered if I was just too old to get it? According to the article, the metrosexual man is dead. For those of you who don’t keep up with this nonsense, myself included. Here's the cliff notes:
The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis – because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and spends his time primping and polishing his outward appearance in hopes of capturing everyone’s attention. Common activities of a metrosexual are body waxing, tanning, manicures and endlessly shopping for the latest fashions that are peddled by the fashion magazines.
For some time now, old-fashioned (re)productive, repressed, unmoisturized heterosexuality has been given the pink slip by consumer capitalism. The stoic, self-denying, modest straight male didn't shop enough (his role was to earn money for his wife to spend), and so he had to be replaced by a new kind of man, one less certain of his identity and much more interested in his image – that's to say, one who was much more interested in being looked at (because that's the only way you can be certain you actually exist). A man, in other words, is a walking narcissist.
Apparently society has come back to its senses and realized that young men today are far too feminine. Where are the John Waynes and Clint Eastwoods of the new generations? I have noticed far too many boys today who would rather play Xbox 360 or some magical card game than go fishing or hike the face of a mountain? The good news is that the pendulum seems to be swinging back the other way and hopefully landing somewhere in the middle. Sorry ladies, the overly feminine man with perfect fingernails is starting to be replaced by a cross between Prince William and Moses!
And speaking of Moses, celebrities like Zach Galifianakis, Brad Pitt and Joaquin Phoenix are all now embracing the old fashioned cave man look again, a good sign of the changing times.
In all seriousness, I still feel, teach and try to emulate the etiquette and demeanor of the English Gentlemen. A man must be refined, educated and cultured but also have the skills of Survivorman and be allowed to drink some beer with the guys during the Super Bowl. The Modern Gentlemen is honest, lives a life of character and sets the example for others. He is kind to others, especially woman and displays the utmost respect and courtesies in their presence. Furthermore, he must have a noble cause to fight for, help the poor and the environment and provide for his family.
How can one man do all this? Do we need to buy a red cape and hang it in the closet?