"Men are having a hard time being men...first of all you have all the addictions: The pornography, the gambling, the alcohol, cocaine, the food - all that...you also have all the brokenness and so on....", by John Eldredge. What do you do with all this evidence for men. It all falls back to the deep wound that men incur or have had happened to them when they are younger. What needs to happen here, is that we need to heal the heart of man. We need to have men in the word everyday and praying every day so that the Holy Spirit will do His work in us.
CRISIS - YOU NEED TO HEAL THE HEART OF MEN - by John Eldredge
Proverbs talks about this:
English Standard Version (ESV)
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.
This past Friday, I got home from a long work week and finished some afternoon reports, work around the house and was just taking a moment to spend on my IPAD when my son came and asked me if he and I could watch the move Courageous. I told him that I would be there in ten minutes to watch with him. Ten minutes later, my wife stopped acting like a wife and became my proverbial mother and politely reminded me of my manhood and father responsibilities: To be a legacy dad, I have to get in the game. I got up and sat next to him on the couch and watched the entire movie with just him and I. There was a lot of biblical truth and so forth in this movie. As a matter of point, Lance and I joke about there resolution and believe that they took a lot of that from www.legacydad.com (okay, so we all agree - we stand on the Word of God).
The most awesome part of me getting "out of the boat" and engaged with my son is that I could have missed this ever so important conversation about faith and value and legacy with my 10 year old son if I would have continued to put myself first. I would have missed the opportunity of showing my son that he is first and he and his two sisters are the forefront of my spiritual assignment and mission field given to me by God. Not only do I have to be leader of my house, I have to be actively involved in the every day process.
After the kids were tucked in bed and my wife was working on some projects, I finished my Saturday morning "Facilitator Lead" to talk with men. I had asked our senior pastor over years of pastoring/counseling what he thought were the top three things that men struggle with, he said, "Significance, Lust and Anger". On Saturday, we covered the following bible verses: Ephesians 2:1-3, Proverbs 6:16-19, 12:1, 15:3, 28:13-14; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and Psalms 139:23-24.
I asked the following questions:
- What do we struggle with the most?
- Why do we do the same thing over and over again (the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time).
- Why do we try to be god-like (selfish, bitter and idolatry)?
- Why do we settle for mediocrity in life, marriage and happiness (things that hold us back: pornography, hate, lust, anger, addicitions)?
- What is your sin?
In the beginning of our men's ministry on Saturday morning, we have worship, then we have large group (what i discussed above) and then from 7:10 to roughly 8am we break into small groups and for 30 minutes discuss the topic and pointed questions and then we pray and confess and carry each other's burdens. This is a huge relational ministry and I love seeing the fruit that God is giving it. Our secret, we open the word, we worship together, we pray together and we share life together - and the Holy Spirit does the rest - AMEN!
So after watching the movie, Courageous, with my son on Friday and after leading Men of Faith on Saturday, I confessed these things in my small group:
- I am lazy and slothful (downright selfish at times) and I need to step it up
- I am the leader of my house (I need to act like it more)
- I married my wife and my best friend (not my mom) so I need to stop putting her in that situation to act like my mom
- I set the tone for the family and the direction (if I get engaged they will respond)
- I need this Men of Faith and accountability partners to keep me honest, humble and growing toward being God's disciple
- I need to be the Legacy Dad (round the clock)
If I am serious the my spiritual role as Elder, Men's Ministry Leader and so on, then I will have to be intentional with my family, my church, my community and my work. If I am striving to be the man that God wants me to be, then I will take His Word seriously all the time and build relationship with the Holy Trinity.
I am a disciple, I am a man of faith and I am a legacy dad!
Esse quam videri!