How divorce affects a Christian family

There are God’s ways, which are good for the soul and brings us the abundant life.  And then there are the worldly ways, which separates us from a Holy God and causes us pain and suffering and death.  God’s ways are not man’s ways.  God hates divorceMalachi 2:10; Malachi 2:13-17 (New International Version) 10 Do we not all have one Father[a]? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another? 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[b] says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Reading this over and comparing with the Mathew 22, we can conclude that God hates divorce.  Simply said, God hates sin, any kind of sin because he is a holy God.  Without his son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, we have no hope of Salvation.  We sin all the time!  We cannot help it – it is in our nature.  But that is not an excuse because for all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God.  So what are we to do?  What hope do we have when we sin?

I have seen the affects of divorce on a Christian family.  Believe it or not, the statistics of the divorce rate are equally impacting the Church as it does in secular world.  Divorce is a consequence of sin.  It is when we put our needs in front of God’s plan.  Please don’t condemn me by that statement.  I have seen the impact of divorce on both sides of the spectrum.  Meaning one parent who is godly and wants to be in God’s will while their spouse is unrepentant (either cheating or all other sorts of wrongdoing) and the other side of the spectrum where the couple, for whatever reason, has given into the concept of divorce and slowly come back to repent to God and in some cases have re-married to a godly person (after repentance and after working through that season, of course).

Please do not misunderstand what I am trying to say in the last part of the paragraph, God hates divorce (God hates sin), it is contrary to his will.  When I sin, I am convicted by the Holy Spirit (who dwells in me) and I am caused to repent and ask forgiveness and to ask the Lord to guide and strengthen me through these trials and tribulations.  Therefore, the same thing can occur in divorce.  We sin, we repent, we draw nearer to God and we are redeemed through our Savior’s blood.

The affects of divorce on a Christian family can be devastating if you have one parent still under the will of God and the other contrary to the will of God.  An article from Focus on the Family, has some points for us to consider:

Research comparing children of divorced parents to children with married parents shows:

Children from divorced homes suffer academically. They experience high levels of behavioral problems. Their grades suffer, and they are less likely to graduate from high school.

Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile.

Because the custodial parent's income drops substantially after a divorce, children in divorced homes are almost five times more likely to live in poverty than are children with married parents.

Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families.

Before you say, "Not my kid," remember that the children and teens represented in these statistics are normal kids, probably not much different from yours. Their parents didn't think they would get involved in these things, either. Again, we're looking at increased risks.

A few more statistics to consider:

Children from divorced homes experience illness more frequently and recover from sickness more slowly.

They are also more likely to suffer child abuse.

Children of divorced parents suffer more frequently from symptoms of psychological distress.

And the emotional scars of divorce last into adulthood.

If you don’t believe this points above, then simply turn on the TV, read a newspaper and reason for yourself from the “experts” of this world and their hypothesis versus the Truth in Scripture and God’s will for our lives.  Before we try and fix the symptoms of Societies ill by trying to treat it with topical applications (Gun Control, Take Prayer out of schools, Do what experts say versus what God’s will is, and so on), look at the violence, the brokenness and the hurt that is all over this world from a torn and fractured society.  This world is spinning out of control.

Looking up we find di·vorce  [dih-vawrs, -vohrs] defined as:

1. a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, especially one that releases the marriage partners from all matrimonial obligations. Compare judicial separation.

2. any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom.

3. total separation; disunion: a divorce between thought and action.

verb (used with object)

5. to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one's spouse) by divorce: She divorced her husband.

6. to separate; cut off: Life and art cannot be divorced.

In my opinion divorce sucks!  It is not easy for either spouse, it is contrary to God’s will for our lives.  We still sin, divorce is a sin, so it happens because we still sin.  So now what?  What can we do about it after the fact?  What can we do after the spouse has had multiple affairs, is caught, is unrepentant and gives the wife no other choice (or the husband)?  The marriage covenant is broken, sin has entered the marriage bed and the covenant is broken (grounds for a divorce).

So now what?  What can the parent, who fears God and who loves God and believes in His word (the Bible) as the true words of God do when their spouse is still wallowing in the mud and unrepentant of their actions and sins?

Take these following action steps: Read Here:   Colossians 3, Romans 12

Pray:            Pray continually

Let go:         Let God (he loves your children and he has good plans for those who fear and love him)

Put:             Put healthy relationships in your kids lives (let them see healthy spouses and families working) – encourage them to coach your children and to mentor them.  Pray for these relationships for your kids.

Trust:           Trust God – he loves you!

Your thoughts?