Today we continue What Women Really Want, those strange creatures that vexus, trap us and then end up living with us for years and years.
I thought I knew women after studying and studying and trying to figure them out but I am finding everyday they are still a mystery to me.
So, I read all the marriage books (so you don't have to) and try to
give the cliff notes version here on Legacy Dad. Recently I have been
listening to the Audiobook of
For Men Only and have learned some pretty profound stuff, read on...
Do I have your attention now?
I think if you ask any guy if he would like more sex, the answer would be "yes to the 100th power."
However, when women were surveyed, they had some other answers and guys, if we want more sex, we need to take notes and listen.
First, women need longer to warm up. Men are like Ferrari 355 Spyder's, pop the clutch and it's 0 to 60 in 3.4 seconds. Women, however are like an 18 Wheeler going through a mountain pass. They need to slowly work through the gears to get up to full sexual speed.
Women stated that they would like more sex too but sometimes their bodies simply will not allow it without some jumpstarting. How do you do this?
For starters, sex starts in a woman's mind and heart. Therefore the sex starts early on in the day with your treatment of her, flirting, comments and gestures and your emotional connectedness to her. If a woman does not feel emotionally connected to her man, forget sex.
Also, women reported that your physical body has very little to do with her wanting sex. As guys, we are attracted visually. We see our wife looking sexy and we become aroused. For women, this has little to no effect on them. So, all the Men's Health models can take a flying leap with their abs diet!!! Just Kidding. Women are attracted by your treatment or her and your pursuit of her.
Women reported that they live to be pursued. Throughout the day, you need to send her notes, emails, or give her a call and whisper thoughts into her mind. Which leads to the next area. Women need to feel that you find them sexy. Tell her throughout the day how beautiful and sexy she looks. Send her an email saying that the outfit she put on this morning has been crossing your thoughts all day and you can't stop thinking about her.
Next, sex does not equal closeness for women. For men, we can have sex and this makes us feel close to our wives. For women, the closeness must come before the sex. You also need to prep the environment. After a long day of kids, housework, and her job she needs time to unwind and become intimate. Get her a glass of wine, put on some soft music and draw her a hot bath. This all adds to the environment and helps her relax to try to let her mind go towards sex.
Now this part you are not going to like.
According to Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, men who help out and do housework have better marriages and a healthier and more frequent sex life. So make dinner, do the dishes and get the kids to bed and watch the sparks fly. 70% of women with school age children or jobs outside the home said this would greatly increase sexually frequency in their marriages.
Lastly, here are some tips from women who when surveyed, said they wanted the same amount or less sex than they were already having. These tips, they said,would make them want more sex.
1. Pay more attention to her
2. Show loving gestures and comments throughout the day.
3. Have meaningful and caring conversations with her.
4. Women need to feel sexy outside the bedroom - comments during the day.
Finally, women also said sometimes they just can't do it. When this happens we have to accept it and still be loving, caring, and (gulp) cuddle. When you are doing the above actions consistently, you will have more sex in your marriage, period.
And one last thing, women surveyed also said that some basic hygiene would also go a long way. Think about men, when we were dating or single, we wouldn't go out without showering, shaving and brushing our teeth, does our wife deserve any less. This may seem trivial but it was listed by many women surveyed.
So I hope you read this piece and took notes because it does work. Ask my wife!!!
Now go forth and have...well you know.