Probably the most searched post of my entire blog is my Spanking 101 post. This post outlines a form of discipline we used with our children at an early age. While this technique proved very effective in our parenting, I never explained why it is essential.
Let me share a true story with you.
I have a friend I'll call Todd. Todd grew up in a Christian middle class home but his parents used a form of discipline in which Todd was never really shown at a young age the moral reasons why some of his actions were wrong. His parents were more concerned with Todd seeing them as his friends rather than his authority figures.
Todd had a normal childhood, played sports, got decent grades but his parents always bailed him out of trouble in school and even a few very minor run ins with the law.
They also ensured that Todd got whatever he wanted. They believed that buying him nice toys, clothes, cars, etc. would "show him love."
Todd grew up, graduated high school and went to college. After our first two years of college, I decided to join the military and went to visit Todd at his college dorms before I left.
Todd was dating a few different girls at the time and his life consisted of drinking lots of alcohol at night and occasionally going to classes.
Todd went on to finally get a degree and started working in the culinary industry. I would often ask about him when I saw other friends and all I heard was that he was drinking a lot and got involved in drugs. Todd got married two years after my wife and I. His marriage lasted less than six months. Then he started working long hours pursuing success in his career. This lead to cocaine use to be able to work longer and start doing endless road shows for his company.
I didn't hear from Todd for 5 years. Then one night he showed up in town and a friend called and told me Todd was in town.
I found him in a local bar, drunk and high on meth. We tried talking to Todd but it seemed none of his old friends could peel through the layers of alcohol and drugs to find him. I heard he went home that night with some random woman at the bar and left town the next day.
I didn't hear about Todd again for three more years. This time, it was that he was selling drugs, had lost a lot of weight and no one, not even his parents could locate him. I have not heard from or about Todd in the past 3 years.
I believe that a lack of discipline and consequence in childhood, leads to a lack of discipline and consequence as an adult.
Without discipline, we lead to laziness.
Psychiatrist Scott Peck says that laziness is behind every single case he has handled as a therapist.
This week we will look at structuring discipline into our children's life so it guides them and develops the habit of living a disciplined life as an adult.
The discipline will instill in our children will lead to healthy, productive, disciplined adults that strive for true greatness rather than success.