My first instinct was to type out every minute detail of
this process but something told me to simple give you a snap shot and let you
see the process unfold on my blog. Here
is the Legacy Dad Process in summarized form with minimal details.
The ultimate goal of Legacy Dad is to create this in our
children:
Security in their Hearts
Significance in their lives
Strength for the future
The "Real" Essential Life Skills
Spiritual morals as a Compass
I was in search for an authentic, Christian parenting
style. A style that created a close bond
with my children, created a more dynamic and happy family, instilled Christian
values and other life skills that my wife and I deem important and prepared our
children in a number of certain areas for life.
I wanted my children to grown up to become mature and
experienced in the following areas:
Spirituality – Faith
Morals and Values
Leadership
Marriage and Relationships
Finances and Investing
I was confused and I wanted a process, a map to follow to help this style of
parenting along. I wanted my children to
have rights of passage, to learn “real world” values and to culminate in a
Legacy Crossover, where my children were now congratulated on their progress
and reassured they were ready for the world.
So, I read a bunch of books, mostly Christian based. Each one had its own unique area but nothing
all inclusive. So I decided to come up
with my own road map and call it Legacy Dad. This is a work in progress and will be refined as the years pass.
Legacy Dad is a program to mentor and guide your children from birth to adulthood in all things spiritual while adding life skills that you, the parent, deem important. Legacy Dad researches the top methods and programs for attaining this type of mentorship relationship and then puts them into a personally customizable parenting package to fit your parenting needs and style.
The Foundation of Legacy Dad is Grace Based Parenting.
Grace Based Parenting:
- Accepts Children regardless of their merit
- Serves Children's needs without a sense of obligation
- Motivates children to a higher holiness with condemnation
Grace Based Parenting happens when we apply four key areas to our children's lives:
Create and Maintain an atmosphere of grace.
Focus on Meeting their Three Inner Needs.
Build Character in their heart
Aim them at True Greatness rather than success.
As a child gets older, the amount of control by parents loosens as the child begins to make their own decisions and learns from mistakes with their parents guidance.
Legacy Phase I: Prepatory
Phase - This is from birth to around age 9.
Some of the key factors of this area are:
Ensuring my children felt secure and loved in their own
unique way
Teaching your children discipline and obedience
The Moral Reasons Why
Character Pillars
Discussions on Sex
Introducing a strong Christian faith and belonging
Spending Abundant Time with your children
Creating Family Memories
Teaching the Basics of Money: Spending, Saving and Charity
Setting a Strong Example in all of the Legacy Areas
Phase II: Pre-Adolescence – This is from age 9-12.
We continue with all the key factors of Phase I and add the
following:
Deeper self discipline and respect for others and ourselves
Team Sports – Teamwork
Begin Confirmation of Faith
Checking Account, Basic Investing, Basic Business skills
Deeper Gender Specific Guidance – Puberty, Dating, Sex
Creative Expression
Responsibility and Real Life Decision Making
Implementing morals and values into real life situations
Phase III: Adolescence – Ages 12-14 – Focused Training Begins
This is the stage where your plan is fully revealed to your
child; your child starts to search for their own answers but is still seeking
guidance from the parents.
This phase you tell your child of this process but not every detail. I came up with a compelling way to introduce this process to
my children. A way that creates mystery, intrigue and challenges them to want
to take this journey. I focus on the end rewards and the greater happiness, wealth and spiritual closeness they will feel by taking the journey.
Some of the tools included in this area are:
Specific books to read that spark conversation and reinforce the Legacy Dad Pillars as well as reflect on what is learned.
A Journal kept by your children to record this journey and
their thoughts.
Practicing Grace Based Parenting.
Opportunity Training - Pressure to instill moral decision making.
A Yearly Family Adventure.
An End of Phase Real World Test in one of the Legacy Dad Pillars.
Phase IV: Teens –
Ages 14-16 – Cause and Effect
This stage is where you child is starting to take their own
path and we need to support it but also be there to influence and guide it
subtly. Being too overbearing will cause
your child to rebel and we address ways to mitigate that.
More Advanced Books and Concepts enforcing the Legacy Dad Pillars.
Opportunity Training continues to further refine character traits and morals.
Yearly Family Adventure
Life Skills that are not taught in school.
Real World Test in one of the Legacy Dad Pillars.
Moral Decision making in Real World Scenarios

Phase V: Entering Womanhood and Manhood - Ages 16-18-
Choosing Direction
This is the critical stage in most children’s lives; they
are striking out on their own, making their own decisions and deciding their
own destinies. We focus extensively on
this phase to re-enforce biblical principles and continue to cultivate the
Legacy Dad Life Map while also giving our children the freedom to try their own
paths and giving them the freedom to fail.
We also add more difficult real world tests and yearly adventures that
will leave memories that last for a lifetime. Here are some possibilities for these adventures:
Christ in the Tetons
Father and Son Grizzly Hunt
Brio Mother Daughter Cruise
Date With Destiny
Youth Encounter
Habitat For Humanity
Tom Brown Jr's Survival School
Boundary Waters Canoe Trips
Dog Sled Adventures
These adventures are not meant to be a walk in the park, adding an air of adventure and difficulty further teaches the lesson and forms a tighter bond between the participants.
My wife and I did a 7-day canoe adventure into primitive Canada when were still dating, There was no towns, motorized vehicles or boats from days 2-6 and only a few other people. The trip consisted of running out of food, bathing in a lake, having one of our camp sites (an island) raided by a bear and another raided by wolves. We also fished and caught crayfish to eat. After seven days, we made it out and checked into a local hotel and ate pizza all night. At the time, we thought it was pure hell, especially my wife, it was the most challenging thing she had ever done. Now, she looks back at that trip with fond memories and of all the bonding we did together on that trip. It is one of our best memories together.
These trips or ones you devise are also where we hold the crossing over ceremony. This is a ceremony signifying their movement
into manhood or womanhood.
Security in their Hearts
Significance in their lives
Strength for the future
The "Real" Essential Life Skills
Spiritual morals as a Compass
Phase VI: College
– Graduate Phase – Ages 18-? -
Implementing Their Skills
This is the phase where you let them go out in the world and
try on their own. They will make
mistakes and you need to support them no matter what. You will continue with the Legacy Dad Life
Map but at their pace and desire.
Phase VII: Marriage – Age? - The End of the
Journey
This is the final stage of the Legacy Dad Life Map, at this
time you are simply a bystander and mentor. I have yet to determine at which year in the marriage the ultimate
Legacy is revealed. I believe we all go
through some early struggles in our marriage and those are valuable to our
marital process. Possibly at the birth
of a first child would be a good point? This will then give them the chance to start their own Legacy
program?
The ultimate goal of Legacy Dad is to create this in our children:
Security in their Hearts
Significance in their lives
Strength for the future
The "Real" Essential Life Skills
Spiritual morals as a Compass