31 Dec 2009, Posted by Lance in Leadership, Values, 0 Comments

The Law of the Lid

When I first started running 15 years ago, I thought I was pretty good. Let me preface this story by saying that I absolutely hate running but due to my profession, it was a
mandatory event. However, I was able to run at a 6:30 minute per mile pace with ease and this was generally excellent for the company that I kept. A few months later, I started running with a more elite group of guys and they were running an average of 5:15 – 5:30 minute miles for up to 8 miles. This killed me. I literally told myself that this pace was impossible for me because I was not in good enough shape.

The guys I ran with did some “mild” persuasion and assisted (forced) me to maintain this pace for a continuous basis and within a few weeks, I too was running the blazing pace. In my mind and body this pace was unimaginable just few
weeks prior, what had changed?

I was reading Dante’s recent post where he really shared his heart in his writing and I got to thinking that some people probably read this blog and think: “That’s nice, great aspirations, good Christian men but not everyone can live up to that standard?”

“I’m doing better than a lot of other guys I know, why change and cause discomfort?”

“No one really lives like that, that’s just words. They’re extreme”

First, my wife and friends read this blog, so I have to be truthful and accountable to what I say. Second is what John Maxwell refers to as the Law of the Lid.

Maxwell asserts the Law of the Lid in leadership is the ability to only rise as high as those around you. Meaning, when you associate with mediocrity, you are mediocre. When you associate with the elite, you become elite.

Just like my running, I thought I was pretty good until I saw some guys who raised the bar for me.

I used to drink, party, treat my wife badly and live an ungodly life. In fact, much like Paul, I would ridicule and persecute Christians for there “holier than thou attitude.” But then someone came into my life and raised the bar for me. I started associating with men of character and class. I started following the examples of men who treated their wives and families as a precious gift from God.

A very successful man once told me the person I would be in five years time depended on the books I read and the people I associated with. Garbage in, garbage out.

I know this message may fall on deaf ears for some but for others I hope it allows you to take a look at life and ask who you are associating with? What are you reading? What are you watching? Who are your role models? Where is your bar currently?

Raising the bar isn’t easy, it forces us out of our comfort zone and makes us live life at a higher standard. Plus, we have to be accountable to this new standard, it is very easy to slip back into mediocrity.

Dante and I are hardly perfect and I would not wish my life mistakes on anyone, but we are dedicated to the process of becoming Legacy Dads. This process means life changes, association changes and media changes. To some it may seem radical, extreme.

They cannot see the 5:30 mile as a reality. To others, it is everyday life as a Legacy Dad. Is it worth it? Ask my family.

It’s a new year, time for changes and resolutions. Why not make your resolution to be the best husband and father you can be for your family. Lead the pack, set the example and leave a legacy.

When you’re ready to submit and have your life filleted open for all to see and then be held accountable for your actions, you are ready to run with the elite. This is spiritual
manhood and maturity. It’s not a choice everyman will make but it is a choice every man could make.

30 Dec 2009, Posted by spittingimage in General, 0 Comments Tagged Character, dads, Heritage, Integrity

I am not the man I used to be

There are many days that I often look back at the man I used to be. The one thing that I love about this blog is that Lance puts it all out there. That is, he is not afraid to tell you where he has been very honest about the mistakes he has made, and he also puts it out there for the rest of us to see- that is called true accountability. He also leaves a road map for us to follow and that is Scripturally based and calls for us to repent and to be brutally honest with our lives. In my life, there are a lot of things that I have done that I am not proud of and there have been things in my life that I cannot say anything else but, “Thank you God for always being faithful, even when I am not.” The hardest part about looking back in my life is to try and compare the man that I was and the man that I am trying to be and if I am brutally honest, realizing just how close I am to falling back to the old self.

Let me be perfectly honest with all of you here. When I first met my wife, I was anything but pure. I had defiled my temple with all kinds of sinful nature stuff. Lust and pride where huge issues in my life as a twenty something bachelor and I did not think twice about the ramifications of my choices. However, sin has consequences and sin can destroy a lot of things in our life. Sure, at the time, it seems like a great idea, but how can we justify sin to a Holy God? We cannot! I cannot expect the Holy Spirit to grow me to the man that God wants me to be if I have unrepentant sin in my life. So when I met my wife, she was pure and she was honest and she was innocent. She (and help from my mom who had a massive heart attack – asked me to start reading my bible) started to get me to attend her Sunday Morning Class and help teach 2 and 3 year olds a Bible Study – ugh! Now that was a rude awakening to what parenting would look like.

The thing about the consequences of my sins were that they continued to haunt me in the first few years of my marriage, that is, I used to be able to justify normal behavior as just the daily jaunts of life. That was a lie and that was revealed to me in Scripture. I was grieving the Holy Spirit in my life by not repenting of sin and allowing myself to try and serve two masters – meaning there was no fruit in my life. However, I didn’t like that man and I didn’t like the type of legacy that I was paving for my children. My wife and I talked and we/I was brutally honest about my struggles and my sins and she said so do something about it and we grew a lot closer. The more that I prayed and the more that I read Scripture the more convicted I felt and the more Scripture revealed in me the things that I needed to let go of. And then, suddenly, the things of this world grew dimmer and the things of our heavenly Father’s will grew more apparent – less of me and more of Him in every aspect of my life.

Another aspect of my marriage was that my wife and I were asked to take a leadership course in our church called Living Fire. The course was a three years in all. The first year was to ask of you two major questions: 1) Who is God (in our lives) and 2) Who am I (and where did my past story take me to this point in my life). I have to be honest and say that as a graduate from college in Finance and having my Master’s degree in Accounting and Economics, I did not think that this was going to be such a big deal (was I wrong). Between this course and my daily prayers and bible reading I slowly started becoming the man that I want to be striving for daily to be: To be a righteous man, to be a really good husband and father and to love God will all my heart, soul, strength and mind. In the past 3 years my marriage has really grown and the friendship and love with my wife is simply unbelievable. My hope and my prayer is that I can model this faith, daily walk and husbandry and parenting to our three lovely kids.

There are three themes we need to get a masters degree in: I. Biblical Purity II. Biblical Stewardship and III. Discipleship. If you are married, you need to get a doctorate degree in your wives. Just imagine if we spent half the time on our wives (studying them, trying to perfect them and nurturing them) as we do our sports, hobbies and other interests – Wow! That would really be something. So where do we begin:

1) Read Colossians 3, 2) Read Romans 12, 3) Repent and 4) Move to action – get involved in a men’s bible study, a mini-church, an accountability group. Repent of your sin (Jesus said that you cannot serve two masters). Be honest with your life, that is, give up your pride. Take simple steps: Read your bible daily, meditate on what you read, pray on that Scripture that convicts you to move you to change.

When you find yourself moving into these simple four steps, trust me, for an instant just look back on your life (for a gander) and realize that you, too, will no longer be the man you used to be. You will be a man that God wants to use, grow, disciple and mentor others. That, my friend, will be a beautiful day for your church leadership – as you will be a man that can be called to action.

Live each day in order to be the kind of man that when you wake up, the devil will say, “Oh Crap, he is up again…”