Walking Away From The Game

Radical Servant Leadership

The meeting began with an expert who was brought in to teach “new leadership strategies” to all of our department heads.  Most leaders in this meeting had 50-500 subordinates under their direction and care.  The expert spent the next 15 minutes talking about empathy and how leaders need to put themselves in the shoes of their subordinates.  While I sat scratching my head wondering how much this “expert” was getting paid to tell us something I already knew, I was amazed that many in the room had looks of intrigue on their faces.  Then these leaders started discussing empathy as if it was some breakthrough that was discovered last week.  As the discussion went on, it dawned on me that these leaders really didn’t understand empathy until this point. This was even scarier.

End Game

I’ve recently come to a crossroads in life.  I spent the past 6 months helping to plant a new church and it’s forced me examine what is really important.  I’m a Type-A guy and believe that if you are going to commit to something, you go all the way.  As a result, I’ve climbed to the top of my career ladder and I’m now in the 1% category. The problem with this is that I feel no significance in what I am doing. While I haven’t pursued success, I have been pursuing significance and what I’ve discovered is that according to God’s standards, I’ve been falling short.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing important work but I’m certainly not fulfilling the Great Commission, helping God’s people or advancing God’s kingdom at the level I could or should be (at least not in my day job.)  The more I obtain success by the worlds standards, the more I want to walk away from it all.

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Don’t forget the little things

Rule 101.1 for dads and grandpas in all of life

Rule 101.1 is:  Don’t forget the little things!

As dads (grandpas, mentors, coaches = legacy dads) we have a great responsibility which is our mission field, that is, our family.  If God has given us this treasured gift (called our family) then we have been given the mantle to raise them in the Faith, to make our faith real and to love no matter the cost.  We are to train them up and like arrows, make them effective in their faith.  If we miss this great responsibility then everything else in our life is for nothing.   This is not to say that other stuff that we do for the Kingdom doesn’t have eternal consequences, but it is to say that God gave us this responsibility and that is of the utmost importance (so don’t miss it).

Lance and Gary (home with the Lord now) and I flew out to California to meet and to dream and to plan on where we were going in life and what ministry (ministries) might lie ahead for us in the future.  We talked about a lot and shared life and our stories together.  It was a great weekend and I am eternally grateful for that time.  The one takeaway (of many) that I noted from that weekend was not to miss the little things.  Seriously, as men (and women reading this) we are going to blow it (many times).  We are going to get angry, tired, frustrated and overall exhausted as parents and as legacy parents to boot.  The point of the takeaway was not to miss the little things that will matter most (and be remembered most).  Don’t miss the teachable moments!

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Putting ourself before God

no selfishness“Selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one’s own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism or selflessness; and has also been contrasted (as by C. S. Lewis) with self-centeredness.” – Google

Whether you turn on the television, radio, computer or drive around your city and look at the ads around your area on thing is for certain, this world is hell bent on all of us pleasing ourselves and telling us how we deserve to get what we want.  In most secular of situations we see the demand and popularity spillover on the pleasure of self and how we need to take care of ourselves over the so many other people and things in our life.  Here is a list (to name just a few):

  • You deserve a break today – McDonald’s
  • I will what I want – Under Armour (actually this was a good commercial about overcoming negative people)
  • Mastercard “There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard” 1997
  • L’oreal “Because you’re worth it”
  • Burger King “Have it your way.”
  • “What happens here, stays here.”  – ad for Las Vegas

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My Prayers may be hindered? Say wha???

Friday reflection

husbands1 Peter 3:7New International Version (NIV)

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.


Some reflections that should make you (a legacy dad) reflect

  • “you mean, if I disrespect my wife, God won’t answer my prayers?”
  • “you mean, if I am not considerate with my wife, God won’t answer my prayers?”
  • “you mean, some actions that I take that do not honor God’s will for my life, my hinder my prayers?”

If there is something in your life right now (if you are a legacy dad, or for that matter a legacy mom, who is reading this entry) then change that behavior right now!  Ask God to forgive you for doing it your way and not His way and submit to His will for your life.

If there is a root of bitterness in your life or your spouses life, confess that to God (don’t condemn the spouse and say that you are righteous and you are holy and tell them how to live) Change the way that you react, you disrespect and you life and follow God’s ways:  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control – these are the fruit of the Spirit and let God and let go of self promotion.

If you are, however, doing these things that God calls us to do, then bless you my brother (and my sister).  For God so loves you!

Happy Friday!



Healthy ways to a healthy marriage

The Art of God's Marriage versus The Art of War

wise-decision-making-12-638Genesis 2:  NIV 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Ephesians 5:22-33 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Mark 10:6-9 NIV  6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

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Ashley Madison, Porn and no limits

prov910If you Google “400 church leaders to resign after Ashley Madison hack” you will find a lot of websites this headline.  It is from an interview with Ed Stetzer in Christianity today.  I think what surprises me most is the idea and reactions of the world when Christians are caught.  Even within the church there is this gasp of the fear of being caught.  These notions are foolish because if we are truly focused on the One who is over all can see, hear and do, then we should be trembling in our boots and beds and on our computer screens knowing that this One is the same that can create and destroy.  The One who can save or reject on whether He calls us to know His Son.

There is this false sense of security in the privacy of one’s own space.  Albeit a computer, a laptop, a smart device or television, we think we are immune from the world finding out.  When instead, we should be in complete fear and dismay in knowing that the God of this Universe and the Creator can see, hear, will and do whatever He pleases.  He breathes us into life and knows when He has appointed our time of death.

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Of love!

Part 3 of Faith, Hope and Love

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

oflove1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

John 15:13 (NIV)

13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends

As of disciple and as a legacy dad we have to set our hearts on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  We have to set our minds on things above.  We have to put to death that which is of earth and its desires.

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Of hope…

part 2 of Faith, Hope and Love

HopeMark 5:21-43New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Raises a Dead Girl and Heals a Sick Woman

21 When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. 22 Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. 23 He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” 24 So Jesus went with him.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’

32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

35 While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”

36 Overhearing[a] what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

37 He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. 38 When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39 He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.”40 But they laughed at him.

After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. 41 He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). 42 Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished. 43 He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.


Hope can be a funny thing.  Hope can be a last resort.  Hope can be all sorts of things for different people.  The one common theme in Hope is for the looking forward of something.  Have you ever gone to a funeral?  There is a great likelihood that you have if you have been reading this blog for quite some time.  Funerals can be very sad or in some cases (where there is Hope) can be a celebration and a mourning.  The mourning, is common in all funerals, in that we miss the loved ones that have left this earthly realm and have moved on to another.  It is common for us to mourn that which we once had have and now no longer do.  There are some funerals, however, where there is no hope and more like a statement of “if”, that is, “if” there is an afterlife, “then” maybe this person will be in Heaven.  And then there are funerals where you go to and there is mourning, but there is also a celebration because you and I, who profess the Lord Jesus as Savior and have repented of our sins and our transformed into His new creation, have this hope.  For those of us that have the Lord, as Savior, no longer have to say goodbye to our loved ones.  Rather, we should be saying:  See you later!

Hope can be seen throughout history.  In war, in peace and even in movies we see the thread of hope intertwined in all of these events.  Hope is looking forward to.  Hope, as Christians, comes with a promise:

  • It is all about Jesus
  • The Word was with God and the Word is God
  • Jesus was raised from the dead and now sits on the throne at the right hand of God
  • Jesus will return
  • We have the Holy Spirit in each of us who are saved

Faith without works is dead.  Without hope what is there to look forward to?

I am not sure about you, or where have come from, but I am sure in the Bible.  I am sure in my salvation.  I am sure that Jesus will return and I have faith and hope in my future with Him.

What about your hope?